Soulmates VS Twin Flames- What To Look For Instead

 The term twin flame has been circulating blog posts and social media, and as a Tarot reader, I'm asked about twin flames daily. But what exactly is a twin flame? And is this the one thing that we all should be looking for to find happiness in love? I personally have a different view on this.

Twin flames are supposed to be our other half. The soul that was made at the same time we were. Most people say that this is the person that you end up with. Most articles talk about how you go through a phase of meeting, one of you is ready and the other runs away, after some growth, you end up happily ever after. But is this really the case? If we meet our twin flame, do they have to be our romantic partner? Not in my opinion. At least not for everybody.

 I believe that not every twin flame reincarnates into the same lifetime as us. We choose to incarnate into this realm as a learning experience, each time writing new lessons for our growth. We pick the main characters that we will interact and grow with, but we also have free will. Free will is our own choice, and that choice can affect the outcome of situations. Not everyone is supposed to meet their twin flame, and even if they do, you may not be a healthy fit for romance, or even a possibility for romance. A twin flame, just like a soulmate, can come in many forms.

A soulmate is part of your soul family or soul group that you charted into your life to help you grow. Both soulmates and twin flames can come in the form of friendships, family, lovers, or even someone that you meet only once but that has a significant impact on your life. They are meant to teach us lessons, help us grow, or awaken us. People have a handful, if not more, of soulmates in each lifetime. Depending on your own free will, and their's, depends on what kind of relationship it will become and how far it will go. Both people need to be on the same page for it to become romantic, and for it to become a life partner situation.

A twin flame can be one of your soulmates. If they are in the same lifetime as you that is. I feel like the term twin flame has become dangerous. Although I do feel like it is possible and sometimes happens, not everyone has a twin flame in this lifetime. Some people chart in their twin flame, this can result in a life partner situation. However, this is not common and it is not what everyone should be looking for. I find a lot of my clients saying that they have been told that they already met their twin flame and that regardless of the situation they will end up together, and I just don't agree with that. We need to make healthy choices that serve our highest good.

If you feel like you have already lost one of your soulmates, know that if you desire another relationship, there's always new options that will come your way. You just have to be specific about what you want. You have to be open to new possibilities, and you need to be healed and ready. What I always suggest to clients when searching for love, is not to concentrate on twin flames or soulmates, but instead, a life partner. Focusing on the phrase "healthy romantic life partner", or "healthy soulmate life partner", can be very beneficial. Please note the emphasis on the word healthy. This is who you will have a soulmate bond with, but you will also be on the same page when it comes to what you want out of life. This will be the person that is long-term and lasts, if that is what you are desiring. 

It is important to note that nothing is ever set in stone. It's also important to realize if it is healthy. If you think that you know your soulmate or twin flame, but it is an abusive relationship, or you are not on the same page with what you want, then you do not have to stay attached to the idea that this is your "one and only". There is no "one and only". We are here to learn and grow, and we have choices. Again, some people chart in to fall in love with her high school sweetheart and be married for the rest of their lives. But that is very rare. I personally have had many soulmates, and looking back they all taught me different things for different reasons, and I value each one.

Every relationship, romantic or otherwise, comes with lessons and growth. That is the point of this life. Think of this life as school, you're here to learn, and relationships can be one of the biggest lessons we can go through. It is helpful to know what you want. Keeping a journal or writing a list can be a good exercise to find out. Write down a list of healthy qualities that you want out of life, out of love, and out of a healthy life partner. This can help you align with the choices that come your way and to know who to choose. It is all about choice.

This is your journey. Choose wisely, and love yourself. 


Love and light,


About the author:
Natasha Ingram is an artist, jewelry maker, tarot card reader essential oil wellness advocate, and owner of .

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